The Art of Elevator Speak…….
There is no art of elevator speak, it’s pure awkwardness, that’s it.
The part of the workday I dread is getting in the elevator and traveling back and forth to the 10th floor. I would take the stairs, but I carry a lot luggage: computer bag, purse, and tote bag of misc items, sometimes a sack lunch, while holding my cellphone and a Venti coffee. I actually have 2 elevators to ride on everyday, one for the parking garage as well.
I tend to go straight the back of the elevator so I can anonymously observe how people deal with the awkwardness of elevator speak. I also tend to check out women’s toes too, some people have the gnarliest looking toes – long toes, crooked toes, bendy toes, curly toes, toes shooting off in the opposite direction, neglected toes and perfectly polished toes. I have rarely seen a set of good looking toes. I took a picture of mine to see if I could judge them without being biased, yeah – they look good.
Elevator People Types:
The Starer: Stares at floor the whole time
The Texter: Constant typing, never looks up from their phone
The Good-Byer: Never says hello, but always says “Have a nice day” upon exiting
The Looker Upper: Stares at the floor numbers descending the entire time
The Footer: Stares at their feet the entire time
The Grinner: Smiles upon seeing you, but never says a peep
The Yapper: Scariest one of all – Starts conversation with a question:
Is it Friday yet? How’s it going? What’s on the 10th floor? Going up?
Last week, a lady says very excitedly “Can I scream that it’s Friday!?” I was like ummmm…sure, but it’s only 8:30am.
I rarely see someone twice but on the few occasions I do, I will actually move my lips. There is a guy on crutches that I’ve been in the elevator twice this week, very rare to see someone twice in my ginormous office tower. I had to ask him what happened to his peg leg. He was pushed into the HOV lane on his motorcycle and broke his foot 2 places – OUCH. Needless to say, he was in a car that day.
I’m working from home tomorrow, yippee – no awkwardness!
Happy elevator riding!
